ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
