This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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