ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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