her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
