my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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