Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
