We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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