tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
