i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
