Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
foreskin is a definite game changer
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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