I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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