Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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