The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
