I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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