it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
