i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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