Duck Duck Cougar?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
