He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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