you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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