im drinking this country out of the recession.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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