My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
