i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
