xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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