i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
