O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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