I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this will be a night to untag.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
