Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
