guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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