STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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