can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
