He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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