i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
