I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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