i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
