READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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