I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
