So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
