are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
