his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
