she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
