I bet he comes in French.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
