...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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