Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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