so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
