your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
