Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
