Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im six kinds of drunk right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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