you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
