Whod you bang
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
