You smell like a Billy Joel song
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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