He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
